5 o'clock in the morning..

It was 5 o'clock in the morning when he walked out of my house, and I was half hoping he would return to kiss me with the same passion he had when he’d just arrived. Every time we had tried to say goodbye, we had ended up in each other arms. Why was it so difficult? He wasn't the first man I had been attracted to. I wasn't the first woman he had been with. He wasn't my first kiss, and I wasn't his first fling. Then why couldn't we just let it go? It was not love, I knew, but nor was it lust. It was as though we were hanging somewhere in between. Bound by that connection, a relationship that was impossible to be labelled and a feeling impossible to name. This feeling that could stay for a while or maybe forever. This feeling that could be for someone you have known for years or someone you’ve just met. This weird feeling of knowing that you are not falling for someone, but rather falling with someone; even when both of you are aware that there is nobody to catch you.

What made last night so special was the fact that deep down, we both knew it was the last time. The last time that he was going to touch my skin and awaken a million butterflies in my stomach. The last time I was going keep my palm on his heart and make it skip a beat. The first time had it’s own charm, and we would never forget it. The emotions were running high and the passion had both of us sweating. But the last time, the realisation that it was the last time, made it so difficult. There were no emotions going wild, no cupid playing in our heads, but it was as if we had been pushed off the cliff, into an abyss that we couldn't fall further into but didn't want to get out of either. So we were both trying to fly in between, trying to keep our minds and hearts in place and that was the best part about us. We liked the thrill, the rush, the rawness, the feeling of risking it all. 

What happened last night was as though a sudden flicker of light shot into the darkness to help us see each other, but deprive us of doing anything more. This light was there only to let us see chosen parts of ourselves and black out the rest. Last night, we completed each other. We finished those unfinished stories, we came to a full circle.  And that is probably how it was meant to be. We were destined to add pieces to complete stories that had long been craving for fulfilment in our heads. Last night, we let go of everything that was holding us back, everything that wasn't letting us move forward, everything that wasn't in it’s place. We arranged the pieces of our jigsaw puzzles to get a final picture and when that was accomplished, we decided to toss it all out of the window. That was the beauty of it; this wasn't something easily available to us, it wasn't something we could feel and touch and see everyday. It was intangible, but it was also the answer to  rows of sleepless nights and endless thoughts and useless emotions. It was our Ithaca. 

We valued it, because you can start taking anything and anyone for granted when you know that they’re not going to leave, they are not going to disappear, they are not going to fade away. But if you know that you have just one chance - to touch someone’s life, only this once to fill the gaps, to give them everything you have and everything they need - you’d give your best shot. 

Last night, we exhausted ourselves, we emptied our hearts and minds of every tiny detail that disturbed us, stopped us, disgusted us. We let the power of that one moment, burn us, extinguish us and then give to us; the chance to take another form, another birth, another life. We gave ourselves the chance to be whoever we wanted to be, because sometimes, just sometimes, you need to break yourself completely, so that you can create yourself all over again. Last night, we put down our weapons, we destroyed our pasts and we poured out everything we had ever held onto; all the half-finished sentences, half-written stories and all half-expressed emotions that we could never show to the ones we wanted to. We let ourselves be carried away with the wind and then just mix with the ground beneath us; mix and then cease to exist. 

It was 5 o'clock in the morning when he walked out of my house, and I was half hoping he would return to kiss me with the same passion he had, when he’d just arrived. But I knew that he would not, and I knew that he should not, because when he walked out of my house this morning, he gave both of us a chance to rebuild ourselves, to start afresh. He gave both of us a chance to close the doors of the past. When he walked out of my house, he walked into his future, and I picked up the left over pieces to throw them out of the window and sleep peacefully, knowing that life was going to be alright.

Haruki Murakami

One of the world’s greatest writers, Haruki Murakami writes stories that makes you feel something you’ve never imagined you could. His writing style, although very simple carries an air of suspense which the reader can never figure out till the end of the story. And sometimes, not even by the end of the story. Murakami-chan is from Kyoto Prefecture, and started his writing career only at the age of 29. Here are some things about the great Japanese writer who wakes up at 5:00 AM and sleeps at 10:00 PM and follows his schedule very punctually. 

Without fail, the first thing about him has to be his love for Jazz. His first job, prior to becoming a writer was at a record store and the love for Jazz has been forever an important part of him. Till date, he has over 6,000 music records. Secondly, you can never find Murakami’s quote in a piece about book criticism. He believes he is better at observing people and writing about them rather than judging someone. Murakami balances his physical strength and artistic sensitivity by following a rigid schedule. Apart from finishing his books, he also goes to swim and runs about 10 kms everyday.
Since his early college days, Haruki Murakami has loved movies. News is that he ends up watching some 200 movies in a year! Waseda University, is his alma mater and that’s where he met his wife, Yoko-san. One of the sweetest things to know about him is his love for Indian food. Murakami, generally prefers his cultural food and is very fond of it but also like the Indian cuisines. Next on the list, is his love for cats. It is a well known fact that Murakami owned more than ten cats so far and loves having cats around him. 

Murakami learned English by reading English novels, especially crime stories while in High School. The first book he read in English was The Name is Archer by Ross Macdonald.
While watching a baseball game one day, it struck Murakami out of the blue that he should try his hands at writing and what followed was firstly Hear The Wind Sing and then the rest is history. 

Speaking to the Paris Review about his whodunnit crime novels he said: "I myself, as I’m writing, don’t know who did it. The readers and I are on the same ground. When I start to write a story, I don’t know the conclusion at all and I don’t know what’s going to happen next. If there is a murder case as the first thing, I don’t know who the killer is. I write the book because I would like to find out. If I know who the killer is, there’s no purpose to writing the story.” Thus, it is no wonder that his novels and short stories leaves the readers thinking a long time after they have read it. A very interesting thing about Murakami’s books is that all his books are first read by his wife Yoko. "It’s like Scott Fitzgerald," he says "Zelda [Fitzgerald] was always the first reader.” He chooses between Alfred Birnbaum, Philip Gabriel and Jay Rubin to translate his novels into English. 

Murakami has lots of fans around the world and they all know that they have learned way beyond literature from Haruki Murakami. One very interesting thing observed by one his fans called Alex Iskold is what start ups can learn form this amazing writer. “I'm a big fan of Japanese writer Haruki Murakami. The genius of Murakami is in his discipline, focus and determination. I see him as a virtual Zen master - an embodiment of wisdom, passion, skills and exceptional will.” The link to his article about it is here : http://readwrite.com/2008/07/29/what_startups_can_learn_from_haruki_murakami.

Haruki Murakami, 67-years old, fit and healthy, wise and bold, is a man of great standards and continues to be one of the greatest writers in contemporary times. 

BIG FAT GUJJU WEDDING!!

Marriage is a highly auspicious occasion in the Indian culture. According to the Vedas, the Hindu scriptures, marriage is a sacred lifelong commitment between a man and a woman. It is considered to be the strongest of all social bonds and is the initiation into a lifetime of togetherness. The Vedic wedding ceremony consists of prayers, invocations, and vows recited in Sanskrit, the most ancient surviving language. The Vedic wedding ceremony dates back to over five thousand years. The ceremony is performed under a decorated canopy, the Mandap. The four pillars that surround the mandap represent the four parents. This signifies the important part they have played in raising their children to become the responsible adults they are today. The ceremony is performed before a sacred fire, or Agni, which is the eternal witness of the marriage and all vows were taken.

Gujaratis are known for their rich, vibrant and colourful culture. Moreover, they are warm and cheerful, who are fond of celebrating festivals with fervour. This is quite evident in a Gujarati marriage as well. Lots of money is used for the wedding and it is by far, one of the best things you could witness! The wedding rituals in Gujarat are simple and filled with fun. The unique blend of traditions and ingenuousness is something which makes Gujarati weddings a sheer delight.

Pre Wedding Rituals

Sagaai

The Sagaai is the engagement ceremony and begins when the bride-to-be arrives at the groom-to-be’s place with the matli, a package that represents good luck. The matli is a container which is now often made of steel and contains sweets and gifts for the groom and his family. This symbolises the bride’s family’s acceptance of the union of their daughter and the groom-to-be. There is then a short ceremony where five women from each side of the family bless the couple-to-be which represents a promise between the two families.

Garba

The Garba is usually held the night before the wedding and involves plenty of dancing. It provides the opportunity for the each side of the family to meet, greet and have some fun before the wedding begins. The main event is the Raas which is a dance involving pairs of people and dandia sticks. The dance involves hitting your partner’s sticks while following the rhythm of the music. The Garba is also an ideal place for future couples to meet and begin their own stories.

Pithi

This is a ceremony where the both the bride and groom are covered in a yellow powder that is made into a paste.  The bride and groom have their own ceremonies and usually invite their close family and friends. The Pithi is used to cleanse the bride and groom before the wedding day. The paste is said to brighten and soften the skin to produce that healthy glow.

Mehndi

On this occasion, the bride’s hands and feet are adorned with mehndi or henna. Female family and friends are also invited to have their hands adorned. There is dancing and cheering all throughout. The houses of the bride and bridegroom are also decorated with lots of lights and other decorative items.

 Mangal  Muharat

Mangal Mahurat ceremony is performed by both the bride and the groom in their respective houses. Prayers are offered to Lord Ganesha to remove all obstacles. After matching the horoscopes of the couple, Griha Shanti puja is held. This is done by the priest at the houses of both the bride as well as the groom. It is considered very auspicious.

Baraat or Jaan

The next ritual is known as 'Jaan' and it is performed to ward off any evil. It is quite interesting as the groom visits the bride place and touches his mother in law's feet to seek blessings. While he does so, she tries to clutch his nose and he tries to escape. The groom arrives at the wedding ceremony location with his baraat of family and friends. Many grooms choose to arrive on horseback or in a horse and carriage. The Baraat gathers together and everyone dances in celebration. Traditionally Gujarati’s did not marry someone from their own town so the baraat signified the groom entering the bride’s village.

Wedding Rituals

Ponkvu

The arrival of the groom, or the Ponkvu, is the official start of the Gujurati wedding. The groom is welcomed by his mother-in-law at the entrance. She will perform the aarti and will playfully try to grab his nose. This tradition reminds the groom that he has come rubbing his nose at their door asking for their daughter’s hand in marriage.

Jaimala

Then is the Jaimala, wherein the couple exchanges garlands twice. Next is the Madhuparka ritual in which groom's feet are washed and he is given honey and milk to drink. During this, the sisters of the bride try to steal the groom's shoes, known as 'Juta Churai'.

Kanyadaan

One of the most important rituals on the wedding day is Kanyadaan, in which the bride's parents give the groom the hand of his daughter. This is followed by Hasta Milap, wherein the groom's shawl is tied with bride's saree. The tying of the holy knot and the joined hands of the couple, signify their union. Rose petals and rice are showered upon them, during this time. After this, the couple takes rounds, around the sacred fire, while the priest chants mantras. These are known as Mangalpheras. There are four pheras in Gujarati marriage. This is followed by Saptapadi, which are seven steps and vows taken by the couple together. Subsequently, they are blessed by their parents and elders. This is followed by the Vidaai ceremony, in which the bride is bid a tearful farewell by her family. On reaching the groom's house, the bride is asked to knock down a vessel filled with rice, with her right foot, kept at the entrance. This ritual is known as Ghar Ni Lakshmi as the bride is considered Goddess Laxmi.

Post Wedding Rituals

Reception is a post-wedding ritual, wherein all the near and dear ones give gifts to the couple. Next is the fun filled ritual called Aeki Beki, which is a wedding game played by the couple. A vessel is filled with water and coloured by putting sindoor and milk. After this, several coins and a ring are put in it. Both the bride and the groom are then asked to find it. Whoever succeeds four out of seven times is deemed to rule the household.

Movie Review

      

Known for its amazing music, The Pianist (2002) is a movie about the survival of a young man against all odds. Based on the autobiographical book written by Wladyslaw Szpilman, it deals with the sensitive issue of the oppressive measures adopted by Adolf Hitler to wash away the Jews from the face of the earth. Although, there isn’t direct reference to Hitler in the entire movie, somewhere in the back of our minds, he is present throughout. With various scenes ranging from extreme violence to very emotional ones, the movie is a story of a person’s fight to survive.

The movie opens with Szpilman (Adrien Brody) playing a melodious tune on the Polish Radio; ironically followed by a sudden sound of explosion. This first explosion is soon followed by another louder one and the entire atmosphere turns from one of soothing music to that of disturbing bombings and cries. The element of music plays a very important role and continues to do so during the entire course of the movie. The character of Szpilman is explored in the first scene itself as he calmly responds to a fan, Dorota (Emilia Fox) amongst all the bombings and people running.

The direction of the movie is amazing, owing to the fact that the director is none other than Roman Polanski. The Polish director was a Jew born in the WARSAW region and provides us with a bleak, acidic humour added with ruthless cynicism. Szpilman is one man, not representing the large number of Jews that were executed and murdered but the smaller group of Jews that came out alive; although after suffering extreme violence and seeing their own families die in front of them.

This brings us to one of the most important aspects of the protagonist who is shown as a passive human that refrains from indulging into anything that would threaten his life. His character is explored as a human trying to save himself and not as a Jew fighting against the Nazi government. Although one might think this act as selfish, there’s nothing wrong in self-preservation.

The movie is all about Szpilman running away from the Nazis and ironically, ending up in front of one. But once again,it is his music that helps him survive. Thomas Kretschmann acting as Captain Wilm Hosenfeld helps Szpilman to survive by providing secrecy and food; two things he needed most then. It is interesting to note that when asked what he would do after “this” ended, he replied, “I’ll play piano on the Polish Radio” which is exactly what he did until he died.

The fingers of the pianist skilfully move in the air and play a beautiful music inside the head of Szpilman. The power of music on people is clearly shown in the movie and Szpilman is seen casting the magic of his music over his audience, whoever it may be. The movie ends portraying a free Poland where people listen to Szpilman in a huge concert. Sticking perfectly to its genres; drama, war and music - the Pianist is one of the most successful movies in the history of Jewish movies.

It's all about that hair!

While our society has not discarded racism, sexism and homosexuality, it has at least been addressing and spreading awareness regarding these. The above-mentioned forms of discrimination are more widely seen and talked about. But, there’s a long list of more subtle forms of discrimination. Some examples are discrimination related to speech, name, attractiveness, language, age, height, etc. One of the most interesting forms of discrimination is the one related to hair. Most people tend to think that discrimination stops at caste, colour and dress. What we don’t realise is that it way beyond all these aspects. People tend to discriminate on the basis of the hair colour, hair texture, hair type, hair length and the mere presence of hair.

Studies and records show how bald men and women are looked at very discriminately. While trends are accepting bald men as being sexy, the women are still seen or perceived to be suffering from some disease. It is sad to see how we assume things about people we hardly know. We usually link baldness with old age or some malignant disease. Especially bald women are almost always seen as suffering from cancer or some disease which is forcing them to go bald or lose their hair. Americans haven’t elected a balding presidential candidate since Eisenhower, in the 1950s.

Bald was the style of “black men” as believed by people for centuries and thus given a derogatory status in the fashion-hungry world. But, the trends began to change in the late 90s when white men copied African American style and began shaving their heads. It took some time, but now there are plenty of bald film stars like Bruce Willis, Vin Diesel, and Patrick Stewart, not to mention sports icons Michael Jordan and Shaquille O’Neill.

So, now we think that having hair solves all problems. Looking further into the matter shows us that having hair doesn’t stop the discrimination. Surprisingly, the hair colour matters too. Especially people who’re “redheaded” are usually targeted in pop culture jokes. People having red hair are called “Ginger” headed people. Idioms such as “beaten like a red-headed stepchild” or “there’s something about the red ones” and stereotypes of feisty tempers and hypersexuality contribute to an ostracism of people with the genetic phenotype for red hair. And the stereotype and discrimination haven't left Prince Harry also, who has been termed by his army unit as “Ginger Bullet Magnet”. The United Kingdom, being the home to the most number of “redheads” is still the place where there is large spread discrimination. It is supposedly increasing day by day rather than decreasing, says Simon Cheetham, founder of www.redandproud.com, a website fighting ginger discrimination.

Further, there is conscious/unconscious discrimination against people with different hair texture as well. Hair texture varies from straight hair to the curlier, kinkier hair. Curly hair also has its own variation ranging from very loose curls to the very tightly packed afro textured hair. Straight hair enjoys a higher prestige and is more widely accepted in both professional settings and everyday settings. This social stigma attached to having curly hair has created an entire economy around hair care products and treatments to straighten hair. And these aren’t cheap. So, people end up changing their hair texture only to please others. A lot of places in the world like the Dominican Republic consider natural hair as “bad hair” and most Africans are forced to straighten their hair in order to hide their African roots and thus save themselves from discrimination. Reel life also projects discrimination against hair texture. Actors in Hollywood face challenges when it comes to having curly hair and the roles that they play in particular films. Actors with curly hair tend to play roles that are sillier and less serious in nature.

 Thus, discrimination is present in one form or another in every aspect of life. Be it more visible forms of discrimination like racism, linguistic, obesity or subtle ones like hair texture, hair colour or hair style. It’s high time we stop it. After all, nobody is born homophobic.