BIG FAT GUJJU WEDDING!!

Marriage is a highly auspicious occasion in the Indian culture. According to the Vedas, the Hindu scriptures, marriage is a sacred lifelong commitment between a man and a woman. It is considered to be the strongest of all social bonds and is the initiation into a lifetime of togetherness. The Vedic wedding ceremony consists of prayers, invocations, and vows recited in Sanskrit, the most ancient surviving language. The Vedic wedding ceremony dates back to over five thousand years. The ceremony is performed under a decorated canopy, the Mandap. The four pillars that surround the mandap represent the four parents. This signifies the important part they have played in raising their children to become the responsible adults they are today. The ceremony is performed before a sacred fire, or Agni, which is the eternal witness of the marriage and all vows were taken.

Gujaratis are known for their rich, vibrant and colourful culture. Moreover, they are warm and cheerful, who are fond of celebrating festivals with fervour. This is quite evident in a Gujarati marriage as well. Lots of money is used for the wedding and it is by far, one of the best things you could witness! The wedding rituals in Gujarat are simple and filled with fun. The unique blend of traditions and ingenuousness is something which makes Gujarati weddings a sheer delight.

Pre Wedding Rituals

Sagaai

The Sagaai is the engagement ceremony and begins when the bride-to-be arrives at the groom-to-be’s place with the matli, a package that represents good luck. The matli is a container which is now often made of steel and contains sweets and gifts for the groom and his family. This symbolises the bride’s family’s acceptance of the union of their daughter and the groom-to-be. There is then a short ceremony where five women from each side of the family bless the couple-to-be which represents a promise between the two families.

Garba

The Garba is usually held the night before the wedding and involves plenty of dancing. It provides the opportunity for the each side of the family to meet, greet and have some fun before the wedding begins. The main event is the Raas which is a dance involving pairs of people and dandia sticks. The dance involves hitting your partner’s sticks while following the rhythm of the music. The Garba is also an ideal place for future couples to meet and begin their own stories.

Pithi

This is a ceremony where the both the bride and groom are covered in a yellow powder that is made into a paste.  The bride and groom have their own ceremonies and usually invite their close family and friends. The Pithi is used to cleanse the bride and groom before the wedding day. The paste is said to brighten and soften the skin to produce that healthy glow.

Mehndi

On this occasion, the bride’s hands and feet are adorned with mehndi or henna. Female family and friends are also invited to have their hands adorned. There is dancing and cheering all throughout. The houses of the bride and bridegroom are also decorated with lots of lights and other decorative items.

 Mangal  Muharat

Mangal Mahurat ceremony is performed by both the bride and the groom in their respective houses. Prayers are offered to Lord Ganesha to remove all obstacles. After matching the horoscopes of the couple, Griha Shanti puja is held. This is done by the priest at the houses of both the bride as well as the groom. It is considered very auspicious.

Baraat or Jaan

The next ritual is known as 'Jaan' and it is performed to ward off any evil. It is quite interesting as the groom visits the bride place and touches his mother in law's feet to seek blessings. While he does so, she tries to clutch his nose and he tries to escape. The groom arrives at the wedding ceremony location with his baraat of family and friends. Many grooms choose to arrive on horseback or in a horse and carriage. The Baraat gathers together and everyone dances in celebration. Traditionally Gujarati’s did not marry someone from their own town so the baraat signified the groom entering the bride’s village.

Wedding Rituals

Ponkvu

The arrival of the groom, or the Ponkvu, is the official start of the Gujurati wedding. The groom is welcomed by his mother-in-law at the entrance. She will perform the aarti and will playfully try to grab his nose. This tradition reminds the groom that he has come rubbing his nose at their door asking for their daughter’s hand in marriage.

Jaimala

Then is the Jaimala, wherein the couple exchanges garlands twice. Next is the Madhuparka ritual in which groom's feet are washed and he is given honey and milk to drink. During this, the sisters of the bride try to steal the groom's shoes, known as 'Juta Churai'.

Kanyadaan

One of the most important rituals on the wedding day is Kanyadaan, in which the bride's parents give the groom the hand of his daughter. This is followed by Hasta Milap, wherein the groom's shawl is tied with bride's saree. The tying of the holy knot and the joined hands of the couple, signify their union. Rose petals and rice are showered upon them, during this time. After this, the couple takes rounds, around the sacred fire, while the priest chants mantras. These are known as Mangalpheras. There are four pheras in Gujarati marriage. This is followed by Saptapadi, which are seven steps and vows taken by the couple together. Subsequently, they are blessed by their parents and elders. This is followed by the Vidaai ceremony, in which the bride is bid a tearful farewell by her family. On reaching the groom's house, the bride is asked to knock down a vessel filled with rice, with her right foot, kept at the entrance. This ritual is known as Ghar Ni Lakshmi as the bride is considered Goddess Laxmi.

Post Wedding Rituals

Reception is a post-wedding ritual, wherein all the near and dear ones give gifts to the couple. Next is the fun filled ritual called Aeki Beki, which is a wedding game played by the couple. A vessel is filled with water and coloured by putting sindoor and milk. After this, several coins and a ring are put in it. Both the bride and the groom are then asked to find it. Whoever succeeds four out of seven times is deemed to rule the household.

Movie Review

      

Known for its amazing music, The Pianist (2002) is a movie about the survival of a young man against all odds. Based on the autobiographical book written by Wladyslaw Szpilman, it deals with the sensitive issue of the oppressive measures adopted by Adolf Hitler to wash away the Jews from the face of the earth. Although, there isn’t direct reference to Hitler in the entire movie, somewhere in the back of our minds, he is present throughout. With various scenes ranging from extreme violence to very emotional ones, the movie is a story of a person’s fight to survive.

The movie opens with Szpilman (Adrien Brody) playing a melodious tune on the Polish Radio; ironically followed by a sudden sound of explosion. This first explosion is soon followed by another louder one and the entire atmosphere turns from one of soothing music to that of disturbing bombings and cries. The element of music plays a very important role and continues to do so during the entire course of the movie. The character of Szpilman is explored in the first scene itself as he calmly responds to a fan, Dorota (Emilia Fox) amongst all the bombings and people running.

The direction of the movie is amazing, owing to the fact that the director is none other than Roman Polanski. The Polish director was a Jew born in the WARSAW region and provides us with a bleak, acidic humour added with ruthless cynicism. Szpilman is one man, not representing the large number of Jews that were executed and murdered but the smaller group of Jews that came out alive; although after suffering extreme violence and seeing their own families die in front of them.

This brings us to one of the most important aspects of the protagonist who is shown as a passive human that refrains from indulging into anything that would threaten his life. His character is explored as a human trying to save himself and not as a Jew fighting against the Nazi government. Although one might think this act as selfish, there’s nothing wrong in self-preservation.

The movie is all about Szpilman running away from the Nazis and ironically, ending up in front of one. But once again,it is his music that helps him survive. Thomas Kretschmann acting as Captain Wilm Hosenfeld helps Szpilman to survive by providing secrecy and food; two things he needed most then. It is interesting to note that when asked what he would do after “this” ended, he replied, “I’ll play piano on the Polish Radio” which is exactly what he did until he died.

The fingers of the pianist skilfully move in the air and play a beautiful music inside the head of Szpilman. The power of music on people is clearly shown in the movie and Szpilman is seen casting the magic of his music over his audience, whoever it may be. The movie ends portraying a free Poland where people listen to Szpilman in a huge concert. Sticking perfectly to its genres; drama, war and music - the Pianist is one of the most successful movies in the history of Jewish movies.

It's all about that hair!

While our society has not discarded racism, sexism and homosexuality, it has at least been addressing and spreading awareness regarding these. The above-mentioned forms of discrimination are more widely seen and talked about. But, there’s a long list of more subtle forms of discrimination. Some examples are discrimination related to speech, name, attractiveness, language, age, height, etc. One of the most interesting forms of discrimination is the one related to hair. Most people tend to think that discrimination stops at caste, colour and dress. What we don’t realise is that it way beyond all these aspects. People tend to discriminate on the basis of the hair colour, hair texture, hair type, hair length and the mere presence of hair.

Studies and records show how bald men and women are looked at very discriminately. While trends are accepting bald men as being sexy, the women are still seen or perceived to be suffering from some disease. It is sad to see how we assume things about people we hardly know. We usually link baldness with old age or some malignant disease. Especially bald women are almost always seen as suffering from cancer or some disease which is forcing them to go bald or lose their hair. Americans haven’t elected a balding presidential candidate since Eisenhower, in the 1950s.

Bald was the style of “black men” as believed by people for centuries and thus given a derogatory status in the fashion-hungry world. But, the trends began to change in the late 90s when white men copied African American style and began shaving their heads. It took some time, but now there are plenty of bald film stars like Bruce Willis, Vin Diesel, and Patrick Stewart, not to mention sports icons Michael Jordan and Shaquille O’Neill.

So, now we think that having hair solves all problems. Looking further into the matter shows us that having hair doesn’t stop the discrimination. Surprisingly, the hair colour matters too. Especially people who’re “redheaded” are usually targeted in pop culture jokes. People having red hair are called “Ginger” headed people. Idioms such as “beaten like a red-headed stepchild” or “there’s something about the red ones” and stereotypes of feisty tempers and hypersexuality contribute to an ostracism of people with the genetic phenotype for red hair. And the stereotype and discrimination haven't left Prince Harry also, who has been termed by his army unit as “Ginger Bullet Magnet”. The United Kingdom, being the home to the most number of “redheads” is still the place where there is large spread discrimination. It is supposedly increasing day by day rather than decreasing, says Simon Cheetham, founder of www.redandproud.com, a website fighting ginger discrimination.

Further, there is conscious/unconscious discrimination against people with different hair texture as well. Hair texture varies from straight hair to the curlier, kinkier hair. Curly hair also has its own variation ranging from very loose curls to the very tightly packed afro textured hair. Straight hair enjoys a higher prestige and is more widely accepted in both professional settings and everyday settings. This social stigma attached to having curly hair has created an entire economy around hair care products and treatments to straighten hair. And these aren’t cheap. So, people end up changing their hair texture only to please others. A lot of places in the world like the Dominican Republic consider natural hair as “bad hair” and most Africans are forced to straighten their hair in order to hide their African roots and thus save themselves from discrimination. Reel life also projects discrimination against hair texture. Actors in Hollywood face challenges when it comes to having curly hair and the roles that they play in particular films. Actors with curly hair tend to play roles that are sillier and less serious in nature.

 Thus, discrimination is present in one form or another in every aspect of life. Be it more visible forms of discrimination like racism, linguistic, obesity or subtle ones like hair texture, hair colour or hair style. It’s high time we stop it. After all, nobody is born homophobic.

Sabrina

Business tycoon and well respected man, Patrick Jane receives a letter that cuts through his very bones. Along with his reverted money comes doleful news, revealing that Marie has fled from the orphanage. Within the ken of the orphanage, she was last seen on the streets of Rue de Berne, the very famous place for prostitution in Geneva. Patrick immediately sets off to find her.

18 years down the line, a college fling had resulted into an unexpected pregnancy for Patrick’s girlfriend. Marie was born and soon left outside an orphanage in Zurich. His girlfriend had left him soon, never to be re-encountered. Patrick secretly sent money to the orphanage every year. His wife Nadine and daughter Ana were oblivious about Marie's existence and Marie was told her parents died in an accident. Secrets covered the lives of the entire family.

Patrick searches for his daughter only to find her in a brothel. He is agonized as he couldn't adopt Marie; neither will his family accept her, nor would Marie accept him. And disclosing this arcana would ravage both, his life and Marie's too. He couldn't risk his reputation and stable family life anymore.

On meditating, Patrick chances upon an unwonted notion. He decides to disguise as a transgender and befriend Marie. This seemed the sole way to help her. While in his masquerade, he could be a moral support to Marie who didn't have any friend. He had to find a body double that would replace Patrick while he was with Marie. No suspicions would be raised and he could balance both his lives. And the answer to his quest was Claudio, a perfect duplicate of his. Patrick takes the form of a new entity as a transgender- Sabrina.

He provides money to Marie and proves to be a friend to support her. His struggle to equipoise his life with that of Claudio and Sabrina takes form of an inverted U, that starts off on a good scale but soon attracts problems. Patrick supports Marie; mentally and monetarily by being Sabrina. He even takes her out of the brothel and promises a good job. Nobody doubts his absence as Claudio is too good at playing Patrick’s role. But, fate takes Patrick's game in his own hands. Nadine, Ana and Claudio (as Patrick) die in a car accident. The fateful fortuity is all over the news.

For the people, Patrick is dead. His companies are to be vended and hidden in the form of Sabrina, Patrick sees his life being sold while he is still alive. A tough choice was to be made, whether to continue his life as Sabrina or to reveal himself. Finally, money wins the day and Patrick leaves Marie, relinquishes his transgender disguise and reveals that he is alive. The appalling case is taken over by the Swiss Intelligence Agency. And after long deliberations, the identity of Patrick as truly being himself is accepted. Patrick admits of being Sabrina and fathering Marie. And more chaos and rumors start off.

But, amongst vivid rumors and interrogations from the paparazzi, Marie stands alone. Inside the room of her brothel And while the investigation takes place, Marie is reduced to nothing. The mounting exasperation that tightenes in her throat turns in the worst of awful thoughts and in a fit of anger she sets out to confront her father. The doorbell on Patrick's frontdoor rings and when he opens it, his daughter emerges with a pistol.      

Part Four

Hours passed. Around mid-afternoon, he got up and brought some coffee for himself and the others. “Thank you, beta”, said uncle, managing a faint smile. He put his hand over uncle’s shoulder to show his support. How easily does grief bring people close to strangers? He sat down beside the couple. The girls were resting in another room. She rushed to uncle and aunty and pulled them towards the room. “She’s opened her eyes, you were right. We should be positive. She’s asking for you and aunty.” As the couple went inside, she looked at him, tears of joy in her eyes. Suddenly, they were hugging each other. That tiny figure fits so perfectly in his arms. It felt good, amazing. Something that he had longed for since the first time he saw her, was happening right now. Stating that it was anything but magical would be an understatement. They remained like that for a few seconds, not letting any air pass between them. She broke from his embrace suddenly, looked at him for a second and rushed to tell the other girls. He just stood there, amazed and confused by what had just happened.

Everyone gathered outside the room. He stood beside his friend but made sure he could see his beautiful lady from there. Did he just call her his beautiful lady? Oh, he was losing control. He felt his phone vibrate just then and wondered if it was his girlfriend again, who through some black magic knew what was going on in his mind and had called to pull him back to reality. But, it was just Vodafone..trying to irritate him at this hour of the night. It worked though; he got a little distracted and returned to the seats outside the ICU. He was expecting many emotions to rush inside him at that moment. But all he got was emptiness. He didn’t know what to feel. He wasn’t one of those guys who cheated on his girlfriend for a newly found fling. Nor was he one of those guys who went around changing girlfriends. But this was new; he had never felt something like this before. Never before had he wanted his singlehood so badly! He wanted her. He wanted her presence around him, his life. But he knew it would be wrong. He was already in love. And they were made for each other; him and his girlfriend, or so he thought until he hugged this girl. What was happening to him? He needed some sleep to clear his mind. 

He was woken up by his friend. “Coffee?” she asked, passing him a cup of Nescafe. They sat in silence for a while. Things had changed so much in the past one and half day. He remembered talking to her in CCD, laughing and making fun of each other. And here they were, with coffee in their hands again, but complete silence. “We are taking her back home. Uncle knows a Doctor there who can treat her. She is out of danger. Thank you so much for being there. You’re a great support!” He raised his hands in objection, “Hey, that’s what friendship is about, honey. Don’t thank me for being a friend.” They smiled at each other. 

His phone rang again, this time it was his girlfriend. He excused himself and went outside. The fresh air hit him hard like reality replacing imagination. “Where are you? I wanna know!” she shouted. “Baby, please Arnab Goswami mat bano yaar. Wo ek hi kafi hain!” He tried to calm her down with his stupid joke. “Very funny!” she said in an irritated voice. He knew he would have to explain her everything. And he narrated the entire incident, skipping the romantic encounters with the girl. He was walking on the lawn outside the hospital, talking to his girlfriend. The sun had replaced the night sky and the rays made their way through trees. Finally, he went back inside. Uncle and his friend were talking to the Doctor. “We will take her to the hospital in our town then. Thank you so much, Doctor”, uncle was saying. He motioned towards the ICU, but the bed was empty and so was the room. He must’ve talked for really long over the phone. He turned around only to find the pretty face. “Thank you, she will be alright. The doctors back in town are very nice. We are taking her in an ambulance, in case. She’s out of danger though.” she told him, smiling her sweet, innocent, magical smile. “Oh yeah, of course. She’ll be alright”, he replied. She shook hands with him, smiled and went to where everyone else was. 

One by one everyone came and said goodbye. Uncle and Aunty thanked him genuinely before leaving. His friend came, hugged him and said, “I’ll see you soon, okay? Be a nice boy. Bye.” Everything happened so quickly, he couldn’t quite register it. Since the accident, things had slowed down so much that it suddenly seemed like the situation was playing in fast forward. He walked behind them, absent minded. They were leaving. She was leaving and he hadn’t even cleared his confusion or wished her goodbye properly. He was gonna be stuck with it now, stuck with her memories for quite a while. Dammit! What was all this confusion? He had a whole day, week, month, as long as he wanted now; to figure it out!

Part Three

Like most people, he woke up in the morning to his phone. 7 missed calls. He narrowed his eyes to take a good look at the name. It was his friend. He immediately called her back. “Come to St. Joseph’s hospital. Room No 52. Now!” She disconnected the phone. A chill ran down his spine! Was it because of her? Had something happened to her? He got up from his bed and quickly got ready. Never in his life had he been in such a rush. 

He met his friend who was standing outside the room. She looked calm, staring at some invisible spot on the ground. He put his hand on her shoulder. The minute he looked at her, she burst into tears, hiding her face in his broad chest. He was equally scared because although he didn’t know what was happening, he sure knew it was really bad. He let her cry, fighting his own fears. What was happening? He was getting restless. Just then he saw the beautiful girl walking towards them. She looked older now, with her hair tied back and her eyes swollen from all the crying. He was relieved in a way that she was safe. But then, something was wrong. She walked towards them and put a hand on her friend’s shoulder. It brushed his hand and even between all the tensions around him, he felt a current pass through his body. She signalled him to wait while she took her friend to the waiting room beside. She emerged out in a while and sat beside him.

He could smell her fragrance. She was nervously playing with the corner of her kurta. In a reflex move, his hand covered hers and he gently squeezed it. She looked up at him; her eyes sparkling with tears. Finally, she managed to speak up. “We were going to the beach. It was early morning and the roads were quiet and empty. We were crossing the road at our own ease when suddenly a car came by at full speed. Before we could realise anything, it had hit her. She’s in a bad...very bad condition. The doctors aren’t even sure if she’s going to...” Her words got lost in the tears. He held her in his arms. “Everything will be fine, don’t worry”. “I hope so”, she said, looking him right in the eyes. She looked beautiful like this also, he noticed. He wanted her, he badly wanted her.

The doctor came by, talking to an elder man and his wailing wife. “Her parents,” she said. The doctor and the couple talked a little more before the couple came towards them. She got up and the lady hugged her, not giving a break to her tears. There was silence for a while, broken only when the father spoke, “They are going to observe her for few more hours. But, I’m sure my daughter is going to be okay. We will pray for her, and be positive. Sab theek ho jayega, hena beta?” he looked at her. She nodded her head and more silence followed...

Part Two

The group of girls returned from their shopping spree which might’ve qualified to be the quickest one in history! He looked for her among them, but she wasn’t there! Where was she? What was going on? His thoughts took off once again and he got desperate. Equally puzzled as he was, his friend inquired about the girl. They got to know she wasn’t feeling too well and had retired to the hotel. Surprisingly, he couldn’t hold back his concern. “Is she fine? Does she need medicines? Shouldn’t we take her to a Doctor?” The girls giggled again, like the last time. 

“Relax, she’s fine. Just tired I guess”, one of the girls replied. Phew, he was relieved. But, he couldn’t see her and he badly wanted to. In his mind, he already started making plans. The girls said goodbye and started walking back to their hotel. He immediately offered to walk with them, under the pretence of “protecting them”. His friend looked at him, and he knew she was thinking about his actions. Her eyes were full of questions and confusions. He was shocked by his behaviour himself. But, he had to see her.

They reached the hotel and good nights were exchanged. He looked up at the windows of the building; some dark, some lit up and wondered which one of them was hers. He walked back to his apartment and his phone started vibrating. Wi-Fi in the house, no data pack on the phone does this to you. He saw his mobile - 124 messages from 14 conversations on his WhatsApp, 6 unread emails on Gmail, 2 friend requests and 5 notifications on Facebook. Facebook! How can he forget it? He quickly started his laptop and went to his friend’s profile. Like he had guessed, the girls had put up pictures from the trip so far. There, he spotted her! And a beautiful smile replaced the wrinkles created by the concern. 

He easily found her and spent the next 15 minutes completely stalking her public profile. His cursor kept hovering over ‘send a friend request’. He was about to send her a request when his phone beeped playing “1 thing 2 do 3 words 4 you...” Of course, right timing! It was his girl friend. “Hey”, he said in a low voice. “Where have you been all this while? Koi aur toh nahi mil gayi na?” She asked the most cliched questions. “I am not feeling well, let me sleep. I’ll call you later.” “Oh my God, kya hua? You want me to come over? You never take care of yourself!” He could imagine the face she was making on the other side of the phone. He smiled and said, “It’s alright. I’m just tired. Goodnight.” “Goodnight, love you” she replied.

 He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and shut his laptop. Sleep wasn’t going to come so soon, he knew. He looked out of the window at the dark sky and the beautiful moon and stars. “What harm could one time do? Just spend some time with her, get to know her. She’ll leave soon and you can return to your normal life.” The night was really provoking some bold thoughts. “Am I insane? I have a girlfriend! It is this mere attraction and would go away with the night”, his sane mind said.  He chose sleep over everything else and closed his eyes. For a moment, everything was under control. Suddenly, he could see her coming out of the cluster, shaking hands, smiling, walking away. He got up, more wrinkles on his forehead than before. 

Walking towards his laptop, he slowly opened her profile. Staring at the screen for a few seconds, he changed ‘Add Friend’ to ‘Friend Request Sent’. Enough for a day, he realised and went back to his bed, hoping to catch some sleep.